The "Hark, Behold, and Keep Doin Your Thang" Haikus of Tamp Bombadil

Tamp is an excellent poet.  In addition to fathering the Hark and Behold genre of poetry (demonstrated repeatedly in the poems on this site), she has recently conceived the Hark, Behold, and Keep Doin Your Thang school of haiku.  I hope you will embrace my moist labors to bring these juicy peaches of literature to this forum free of cost.  Tamp, you are in inspiration to the pen and to the poon, to the pencil and to the penis, to the paper and to the privates of those who wish not to disclose their sex.  Enjoy.

Hark marriage partner-
Behold the fleshy pilgrim!
Keep doin your thang.

Hark! You got it dude.
Behold the lithe Olsen twins.
Keep doin your thang.

Hark my soul's hot tub!
Behold, bitch, and watch it swish.
Keep doin your thang.

Hark! My man's big dong.
Behold the glistening shlong.
Keep doin your thang.

Hark! I'm down to snort.
Behold the odors abounding.
Keep doin your thang.

Hark! Mud stuffed fluff butt.
Behold my fun and haircut.
Keep doin your thang.

Hark beautiful gams!
Behold their walking powers!
Keep doin your thang.

Hark the nosy man!
Behold my healthiest pubes.
Keep doin your thang.

Things Gone Awry

Hark the shitty underpants
of our biggest mistake!

Behold the walking nightmare
of youth unrestrained,
puberty on display,
toddlerhood at its own devices,
infancy in an opium den,
childbirth
with pants on.

You have held me
like hosiery -
curling fingers
on gamey sausage
or greedy tongue
on mouth, feet, anus, best friend...
-and promised me
many many
many things
that do not exist
in the greater midwest.

Our dream
(gender roles
and businessman porn)
is a red rash
on my sagging pap,
angry bumps
on my worried sup,
lucky mutations
on a Pretty Woman.

This, old man,
began
with too much
lube.

In some ways,
it is already over
with chafed cheeks
and chapped ego.

In other dreams
I endure,
the batter
of our indiscretion
a glaring reminder
of the simple BJ
you originally
bought on credit.